Loneliness or Aloneness?

loney and loneliness

WOW! It has been ages since I last wrote a blog post. I have been out of writing action for a while but I’ve certainly had time to rest, collect my thoughts and spend quality time with friends and family. I look forward to sharing my blog posts again with you, I have some funny, inspiring and challenging topics to discuss so buckle up and get ready!!!


I’ve been thinking about what it means to be alone and to be lonely. The two could easily be used interchangeably. I would define feeling “lonely” as missing social contact and craving relationships with other people. While to be “alone” I would describe it as not being surrounded by other people but feeling content with one’s company.

So I came up with a few questions to dissect this a bit further

How do I feel when I am alone?

  • Do you need people around you all the time to function?
  • Are you restless and struggle to find things to do?

Do I enjoy moments alone?

  • You need moments with yourself to cultivates your skills and interests and just CHILL
  • How do you look like when no-one is around – does the mask come off?

How can I understand my identity if I cannot handle my own presence?

  • When learning about your identity it is important to learn to be alone < it shouldn’t be uncomfortable. In these precious moments, we unveil and unravel the mystery that is within us, study it and can later share it with others.

Do you live your best life with and without people around?

  • Living your best life > use your days intentionally. Don’t spend your whole life waiting for others: friends, family or “bae” to show up for you to take authority of your own life.

Do you love being around yourself more than others?

  • As well as loving your own company, there is beauty in fellowship with others. It’s important not to alienate yourself; this can lead to loneliness and even exacerbate conditions such as depression.

These questions help me to assess where I’m at and where I want to be, this life is a journey of self-discovery so let the pursuit begin! I hope this post encourages you, challenges you and inspires you. There is “being alone” and “being lonely”, know the difference and assess which one applies to you. Have a great week! ^_^

13 thoughts on “Loneliness or Aloneness?

  1. I would consider myself to be very extroverted. However when I moved from the US to Spain two years ago, I never needed more alone time in my life. I think a lot of it had to do with a transition and a new culture. I took the me time to process my thoughts and feelings. Now, even though I’m still very extroverted, I love to spend time in solitude.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am introverted, and sometimes I believe that my life is best spent when I stay at home far away from other people. But then, after days in solitude, socializing is crucial. Without it, I don’t feel normal. So, a good balance is what works best for me, I guess. 🙂 But yes, definitely agree that it is a difference between being alone and being lonely. The former is necessary at times, the latter is painful.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for sharing your interesting thoughts and questions. I like being alone sometimes. But I also love being around people. I feel more lonely when I am around the wrong people than I do when I am alone. For me, it’s all about spending time with the right people AND enjoying alone time too.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love being alone but not lonely. Sometimes it is so important to be alone and enjoy your own company. Loneliness is painful and I don’t want to be in that position.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Loneliness is a lack, a feeling that something is missing, a pain, a depression, a need, an incompleteness, an absence. Aloneness is presence, fullness, aliveness, joy of being, overflowing love. You are complete. Nobody is needed, you are enough. Both are painful.


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