“You’re not very feminine are you?”
“What…you don’t like pink?!”
“Girls don’t do that…”
So…what makes me a woman? Let’s find out.
In primary school us girlies had mixed personalities. Loud and quiet. Those who liked reading but also liked to play outside. Those who wore skirts but you’d still find them wearing trainers with them! I personally liked wearing trousers and trainers. I remember the SHOCK when the boys saw me in a skirt for the first time…as if they only realised I was a girl when I wore one?!
Secondary school was different as I attended a girl’s only school. There was no confusion. We were ALL ladies there – school rules. Even there though, I thought to myself “am I girly enough?”…”what do I need to do/wear as I get older?” So as one does as clueless and curious teenager, you follow trends and see what works for you. I think I only had peace with my style of dressing and appearance at age 16/17 to be honest.
I battled with low self-esteem due to the eczema on my skin, the size of my breasts and my lack of voluptuous curves. It took me a while to acknowledge and accept that God made no mistake with creating me. I should celebrate the body I came in and being a woman is not defined by these physical features alone. It certainly is a journey and I’m still learning! But one thing I know going forward in life, is that I am womanly in my own unique way. There is no other woman like me on earth, I will not compare or compete because that is futile but rather I will be the beautiful, bubbly and bold woman I was created to be.
The world’s view of a woman:
- Being super emotional and not able to make rational decisions
- Ability to produce children
- Loves and always wears make-up
- Had big breasts and wide hips
- A pretty face
- High-pitched voice
- Not too muscular
- Like to wear skin-tight dresses
- Our beauty depends on the number of likes, shares or retweets we receive!
My view:
- My emotional strength: ability to control and express my emotions in different circumstances
- Multi-tasker: I am not limited to one activity but can co-ordinate many this also relates to being a mother – wife – friend-daughter all at once!
- Ability to read body language: my ability to know how someone feels by looking into their eyes alone
- Caring nature: simply caring for those I’m not related to and not
- Diplomacy: using my words for a mutual benefit
- Influence: my behaviour and words can influence others
- Whether I’m wearing trousers or a dress – I still LOOK GOOD!
- Whether I wear make-up or not – I AM STILL GORGEOUS
- Whether my breasts and bum show or not – I AM STILL FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE
My perspective of myself as a woman is not influenced by people or the media but a truth I have hidden in the depths of my heart. Unreachable. Unshakeable. You see… beauty is fleeting, trends change but the character of a woman outlives all of these things. As a woman, know that you are unique and you bring life in a way that only YOU can do – so go forth and be the remarkable woman I know you can be!
Love this post! I wrote a similar one but in regards to men and femininity! I am fed up of todays social identities and boxes! The more we speak out the better
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Haha yes, let’s break the mould and be ourselves.
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I agree that societies perception of ‘what makes a woman’ is quite backwards, after all we are not a ‘generic one size fits all approach’ and should not be treated like we are all the same. Some women like to go rock climbing and others like to go to the movies, we all have interests that are different and quite often they are not dependent on our gender. And don’t even get me started on gender constructs, I am the antithesis of what society would deem as hyper feminine ‘body shape’ wise as I am small, have no boobs and no curves haha but it does not make me any less of a woman either.
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Yes, I think in today’s society stereotypes and conforming to what is socially acceptable is what is popular but it is important to set yourself apart as a woman and be bold and proud as you are. No point living your entire life aspiring to be like someone else, it’s robs you of your joy and peace.
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It’s so important to celebrate being exactly who you are! I love being older and being able to accept myself as I am. That’s a gift!
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Yes, it truly is a gift Milena! 🙂
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1.2,4 and 6! Women are much more intuitive in almost all subjects of life lol. This was a great list. So true.
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Thank you so much, we need to know are strength ladies! 🙂
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Love the post, its not about the curves. My perception of women changed drastically when i met my girlfriend. The society still needs to change this backward thinking about the impression they have on women specially in the middle east and in some Asian countires.
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Yes I agree, even within Africa too. Perceptions need to change and we will tear them down brick by brick. One person at a time.
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We’re more than just women, we’re human beings who can offer a lot to the world. I love this post of yours, self love and self acceptance is really important and it’s inspiring too!
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Thanks Alison, yes self-acceptance and self-love is so key in a world that is constantly trying to change you.
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I dislike trying to fit into society’s stereotype of how a woman should be. I am me. I can be fragile and feminine at times, but fierce and ferocious when the need arises!
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That’s right, women are not just one homogenised product. We are multifaceted, highly intellectual and beautiful human creations with a lot to offer.
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This is a great post. I hope that society is finally heading to a place where everyone can express themselves as and who they like!
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Yeah, hopefully we’re past the stage where to be a girl you don’t need to like the colour pink or always wear dresses/skirts! haha
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That’s true, world perception of us is not always fair. I really like the fact that from not confident teenager you became wonderfuly aware of your beauty and ability. I hope my teen daughter will flower like that, as at the moment she hates everything about herself
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I believe like me that your daughter like me is on her own journey of self-discovery and in due time, she will see her unique beauty inside and out. Continue to encourage her and build her up with your words, her friends and the things she reads/watches/listen to will also have an influence.
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Love love this post! 7,8 and 9 of your views each one I was like YASS girl! At the end day the most important thing is to have a good heart, the beauty of women is not everyone looks,dresses or represents themselves in the same way.
http://www.pixieox.com
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This post has really put a positive smile on my face. I love how you’ve turned a cliche negative into a positive.
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We can only try our best! This world can throw a lot at us and we have to make this life work for us, not always conforming. Create our own culture.
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Women should rule the world! This is a great list and we should celebrate ourselves as women!
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Lol Joker! I don’t know about ruling the world…but we should certainly understand our unique beauty and strengths as women rather than allowing the media/other people make us second guess and doubt ourselves.
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This is such a beautiful piece of writing and quite empowering indeed! Our society has created such a stereotype about women’s personality traits. We all are unique and gorgeous in our own ways!
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Man, woman, boy, girl…, these are just labels to put us in categories. At the end of the day we are ALL just humans and the diversity of our personalities, appearances, likes and dislikes is what makes the human race so beautiful!
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I really love the last bit about being a woman. I love that quote in the Bible. Being fearfully and wonderfully made. And even in the womb, our creator knew us. That’s just so awesome.
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I find it quite curious that this is still a topic – and even an issue. There are so many other factors and aspects than just gender that make us the persons we are. They should matter far more.
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I agree, it should but not always the case sadly!
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Hmmm…I have a lot of thoughts on this. What made me a woman is because of my physiology. What I made of myself is becoming the woman I want t become.
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Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
BRAVO, YOU WOMAN, YOU!!!
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Thank you very much, I appreciate your support!
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On a subject close to my heart. 🙂
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I looooove this post! SO EMPOWERING, and a great reminder that the elements of womanhood is far beyond ficlkle physical qualities!
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This was a very powerful read! I love the strength that emanates from your writting! You are an inspiration!
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