So for anyone who is a R Kelly fan …you would know this song was a BIG hit, released in 2007 but 10yrs later is still hyping people up! So where am I going with this…there is always a direction with my writing – honest! I’m going to talk about taking responsibility over your words, body and mind. DEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP. OK let’s go.
So what does it mean to be “flirtatious”? Well the Oxford Dictionaries says, “Behaving in such a way as to suggest a playful sexual attraction to someone.” One may ask, “What is the harm? It’s just some innocent fun!” Au contraire my friend and hopefully by the end of the blog post, you’ll understand why. Let’s break it down; when people flirt there is a motive – to attract, to tease, and to play around…and to pull! And of course, in most circumstances the recipient will flirt back. Ok cool. Now this is where the problem can enter…what happens when one party flirts for fun while the other flirts believing that you are expressing an ‘intentional’ interest in them? Unless communicated otherwise, the person responding to your flirtation has no other reason than to believe you are interested in them (and them alone…). With a guy, he may ask you out or worse try to make a move on you! While with a girl, she may think she has found BAE and believe you guys will progress to the next step!
So what is my point?
A person may say “Oh it’s in my nature, I can’t help acting sexy” or “…being flirtatious never hurt anybody”. However I’m going to list some points to make you reflect a bit on this, take what you want from it – just food for thought! During a flirtatious interaction, one party will eventually desire more than just flirting
- When the flirting period fizzles out, one party could be left hurt, confused and even angry. But… “I thought he/she liked me”…”we were speaking/flirting for a week”.
- Your integrity could be questioned – “Oh, she/he is such a flirt, I wouldn’t take them seriously”
- If you do decide to flirt…limit it to ONE person! Otherwise it will cause problems.
- You may be avoided! “Yo! Hide wifey/hubby…this dude/dudette is a major FLIRT!” That reputation could make friends/acquaintances reluctant to introduce people to you.
- When flirting, do you consider “What next?”… “What happens when the flirting succeeds…What do I want from this person? AND “Am I and this other person on the same page – in agreement?”
So in summary, I understand why people flirt… heck I’m sure I may have flirted without even realising! However my point is there is a limit. Understand that you are dealing with real people and real human emotions; treat that person with respect and dignity. If you know that you’re not interested…just passing time – then stop/limit the flirtation. It’s not fair plus you could be blocking someone else who really IS serious about that person. So please, take responsibility over your words and body, don’t let short-term satisfaction create unnecessary long-term bitterness/resentment for another person.
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:31